Of Dares and Love Potions
by ms-hufflepuff
Summary: It's a few weeks before school is over and Professor Dumbledore decides to lighten up the atmosphere - by declaring that all students and teachers were to cross-dress for a whole week. This was the beginning of a very "wicked" plan brought by who else but


**Of Dares and Love Potions**

_June 13th, 1998_

It was a lovely day at Hogwarts; just some time before the school year ended. The sun was shining brightly and the students were outside in the courtyard, celebrating. For there were much to celebrate for. Under massive willow trees, couples lay talking to their boyfriends or girlfriends. Even the creatures at Hogwarts were celebrating. The Whomping Willow did not harshly beat up a certain boy who "accidentally" came across its path. The boy was deeply terrified, however, and ran off. The burst of celebration also affected the Giant Squid. He rose to swim with students who dared to wade into his water, but they were also horrified and swam away while screaming bloody murder.

Amidst all the "horrors" and hoo-has, a single dark-haired boy sat by himself under a maple tree. He had his eyes closed for he was deep in thought, and did not seem to notice a group of people walking past him, pointing and muttering in awe. He cracked his eye open a bit, however, when a familiar someone walked by, talking with her friends.

He could feel the stares of the girls in front of him increase and therefore opened his eyes fully. Most of them blushed and scattered away, leaving only a redhead behind. She smiled lightly and sat down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She stayed like this for a moment before standing up and looking straight at him.

"Harry?" she asked shortly. "Are you feeling all right? You're all pale."

He grinned slightly. "I've been pale all my life if you haven't noticed, Ginny."

Ginny laughed. "Except after Quidditch sessions; you're pink then."

"Am I really that pink after Quidditch?" asked Harry seriously.

Ginny shrugged and pondered the question. "I suppose you're not really all that pink," she said slowly, "a bit more on the pink/peach/tan/brown side."

Harry made a face. "That doesn't sound wonderful," he commented dryly.

Ginny shook her head knowingly and stood up. "Professor Dumbledore announced a couple minutes ago that he wanted everyone to go inside for some meeting."

Harry stood up and brushed his pants. "Meeting? What for?"

Ginny shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm meeting Luna at the Library before I head over to the Great Hall, so I'll see you later. Bye, Harry." She gave him a wave and walked away.

Harry stared at her retreating back before walking towards the castle entrance. The events of the last couple days were a bit of a blur to him. After his encounter with Lord Voldemort, he had came back to Hogwarts as victorious. Professor Dumbledore thought it best – as everyone was stressed out as he was – if classes were cancelled for the following week. This was a very generous thing he had done for them and so everyone had taken it to their best advantages. Some went home to visit their parents while others stayed behind and spent it with friends. Hogsmeade visits were also extended to every day that week. Their caretaker, Argus Filch, wasn't at all happy, for there were more Dungbomb accidents that week than any throughout the whole year added together.

When Harry entered the Great Hall, he saw everyone sitting in a jumble of places, and so he headed to the first seat that he saw. After all the noise had gone low, Professor Dumbledore stood up and began his speech. "After the events from last week, one of our Prefects thinks it best to "live it light" for a while. Apparently, no schooling isn't enough. I respect her thinking and so after much thinking, I have decided that for one full week, Hogwarts will have everyone cross-dress."

The Hogwarts students all stared at him with blank looks. They knew their Headmaster was rather off his rocker, but they had never expected such an idea to come out of such a respectful man. The Slytherins were scowling rather menacingly and their Head of House was doing the same.

Dumbledore paid no attention to their dismay, however, and continued. "To insure that everyone is in spirit, the teachers will deduct points from anyone found not cross-dressing. I must also add that teachers are required to participate as well, and therefore also required to take points from themselves and each other if they do not. Transfigurating body parts is not needed, but if you wish to and need help, Professor McGonagall will be more than glad to do so."

Professor McGonagall's lips were in a tight line and her face was rather white, but no words escaped her mouth.

"Professor McGonagall would be of great assistant as well if you need help transfiguring wigs. Changing hair colors and hair removing problems should be directed to Professor Flitwick whilst skin complexion should be directed to Professor Snape."

Snape's eyes had widened slightly when he heard his name mentioned, but had gone back to its regular size. He was looking a lot like he did when Gilderoy Lockhart told students to seek him for Love Potion help in Harry's Second Year.

"If any accidents should occur, please report to Madam Pomfrey, our nurse, immediately. In regarding to clothing and such, each student have been assigned a partner from whom they will swap clothes. Do not worry, for your elected partners will be around the same size as you."

"They might have cooties, Professor!" shouted a brown-haired Ravenclaw boy. Several older students looked at each other and snickered.

"If you are worried about hygiene issues, you can transfigure your clothes yourselves. I must warn everyone that this is so much more time consuming than simply borrowing someone else's clothes."

"Do you have to wear their undies?" asked a Slytherin girl. Many 'ew' formed after her question.

Dumbledore chuckled. "No, Miss Hoffman, you may wear your own undergarments. Are there any further questions?" No one raised their hands to ask – simply for they were afraid to hear the answer – so Dumbledore said, "Well, all right then. If you still have any concerns, I will be in my office. Until then, I expect every single Hogwarts member to be dressing differently on Monday. List of partners are posted in your Common Rooms; if you have any problems with the arrangements, please contact your Heads or me. Many of you have better business to attend to, I'm sure, so I will end my speech for now. Have a grand day, and remember to stay in spirit!"

As Harry left the Great Hall, he could see several people shaking their heads and some saying, "Wait and see what my parents have to say about this." Harry wasn't too affected by this whole ordeal, but was rather peculiar about wearing women's clothing. He remembered cross-dressing one time in order to escape Dudley's gang, but never did he think he would be _forced_ to do so. As women's clothing came to mind, he began to wonder who he had gotten for a partner. Feeling excited, but trying hard not to show it, he 'casually' headed to the Gryffindor Common Room along with a crowd of people. As he ascended up the stairs, he saw the back of Ron's and Hermione's heads and therefore yelled to them. They turned around and waited for him to catch up.

"Never expected this to happen, eh?" said Ron once he joined them.

Harry grinned. "Nice to see how Snape looks in a dress, though."

Hermione crossed her arms. "Professor Dumbledore didn't start this thing so that we can insult people and see male professors in dresses, Harry. Take it more seriously."

Harry gave her a salute. "Yes, Head Girl."

She gave him a glare. "Quiet, Harry."

They arrived at the Common Room entrance and after giving the password, found a horde of people standing in front of a corner of the room.

"Move, move," said Ron, pushing through. "Out of the way, please." With Ron in front of them, they made their way to the front. "Weasley," Ron was mumbling, moving his finger to the end. "Oh hey, I got Hannah Abbott. That's not so bad. Who did you get, Hermione?"

Hermione was still searching for her name. "I can't seem to find mine," she said slowly.

"Right here," said Harry, pointing at her surname. "You got Alvin Wells."

"Who is that?" asked Hermione, raising an eyebrow.

"I've no idea," said Harry, shrugging. "He's younger than you, that's for sure. Oh, it says next to his name that he's in Ravenclaw."

Hermione tried to force a smile. "At least I didn't get Slytherin, right?"

Ron tried to smother his laughter. "That's the way to take it. You can change it if you want." He considered that thought then said thoughtfully, "Not that I think you will anyways, because it'll be considered 'a bad example'." He and Harry shared a laugh.

Hermione looked at both of them, gave a huff, and headed off to her dorm.

"Who'd you get, Harry?" asked Ron.

"Padma Patil," he answered. "I bet she's already on her way to Dumbledore's office to change it, though."

Ron sniggered and they headed off to the stairs. "She's still against you?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "Pretty much that. I still don't see what the big deal is, do you?"

Ron shook his head. "No. Maybe it's a girl thing."

Harry shrugged again. "Ok then. That makes sense."

When they entered, they found Dean, Seamus, and Neville sitting on the floor playing muggle cards and so joined them. Neville, the least experienced with cards, was loosing rather badly as he still had most of his cards while Dean and Seamus only had a couple. Dean was grinning broadly and Seamus was the same.

"I take it that you guys are winning?" asked Harry when he and Ron had settled down.

Dean nodded. "I never knew anyone can be so terrible at cards. My sister loses to me all the time, but she's nine so go figure." (you can go figure?)

"What are you guys playing?" asked Ron.

"Thirteen," replied Seamus. "Come _on_, Neville. Make a move!"

Neville was looking at his cards rather intensely. Harry could see little beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. "Calm down, Neville," he said, laughing slightly. "It's just a game."

Neville shook his head vigorously. "We're doing truth or dare. If I lose this time, they're making me do a dare. Knowing them, it could very well be snog the Whomping Willow or kick Mrs. Norris or-or worse, shag the Giant Squid!"

"We didn't consider that," said Dean, his smile widening, "but now we probably will!"

Neville gave a loud groan. "What should I do, Harry?" he asked, pointing to his deck.

Harry studied it for a few moments. "I think you should go double three."

Neville followed his order and put the double three down. "Go," said Seamus.

"What now, Harry?"

"Ehh…the two."

Once again, Neville did as he was told.

"Go."

"Which one, Harry?"

"Neville, would you like me to play for you?"

Neville breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought you'd never ask. I've been stalling this game since the beginning, hoping that someone would come along and help me."

Dean and Seamus rolled their eyes. Harry took Neville's deck and scooted over to be in front of the other players. "Four, five, six, seven," he announced as he placed them down.

"Go," replied Dean and Seamus with exasperated tones.

"Nine," said Harry as he placed his last card down.

"Can you beat that, Seamus?"

"Of course! Jack."

"Go."

"Four, I got second place!"

Dean began gathering the deck. "That's not fair. Harry came in."

Harry grinned. "No offense, Dean, but I think the only reason you've ever won a game was because you played against your siblings."

"Shut up, Harry."

"How do you play thirteen?" asked Ron.

"Hold on. We need to think of what Dean should do," said Seamus. "What do you think, Harry?"

"I'm not sure," replied Harry. "What do you think, Neville?"

"I'm not sure either," said Neville and turned to Ron. "What do you think, Ron?"

"If you guys aren't going to think of something, I'll be going to bed," said Dean, standing up and heading to his bed.

"Not so fast, Thomas," said Seamus, pulling Dean back by his collar. "Let's have you…kiss Pansy Parkinson."

Dean snorted. "Can you guys be anymore childish? That is so amateur."

"Scrub the Giant Squid?" suggested Ron.

All the other boys grimaced. "That's taking things a bit too far, Ron," said Harry.

"Let's take our time to think of the best," said Seamus. "It's not everyday that we get to dare someone and have them actually follow it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "All right then. You want to learn thirteen, Ron?"

Ron shrugged. "Sure," he replied.

And so began a night full of exasperated "go".

-

The following day after Dumbledore's announcement was indeed very busy. Students bustled about, meeting their partners, trying on the opposite sex's clothes, and getting help on transfiguring their belongings. Dumbledore, naturally of course, was even busier than all of them. Ghosts, teachers, and students streamed in and out of his office, complaining and asking advice and before long, he was extremely weary. He started to consider ending the whole thing, but then went against it for he thought it was too selfish. It was all worth it, however, when he saw the students the next day.

He himself was wearing a pink frilly dress that stretched to the ground. It was formerly bought for a friend, but he had never gotten the chance to give it to her. In his entering the Staff Room, he saw a very funny site. Some male teachers were wearing similar clothing as him and some were standing next to the giant mirror, examining their face closely while female teachers gave guidance.

"I think you need to put a bit more," Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, was saying.

Professor Sprout, the Herbology teacher, was nodding in agreement. "Just a bit more will do it," she said.

Professor McGonagall was sitting on a chair, staring at her colleagues. She looked rather disapproving about what they were doing, but didn't say anything. When she saw Dumbledore, she stood up. "Albus, do you know how many letters of complaints I received yesterday from the students' parents?"

Dumbledore pretended to look surprise. "Oh? Whatever for?"

Professor McGonagall gave him a stern glare. "Albus, you know well enough what they wrote to me about."

Dumbledore patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry too much about it, Minerva. Ministry officials won't be arresting us for this." He glanced around. "Where is Severus?"

"We knocked on his door this morning, but he wasn't there," replied Professor Sprout.

"He's not in his dungeon either," added the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Wagner.

"Oh, well, that is rather strange," said Dumbledore. "He's probably just wandering around then." Dumbledore glanced at his watch. "I must get going now. I shall see you all later." The teachers gave a wave and Dumbledore went on his way.

-

When Ron and Harry sneaked to their class that morning (for they didn't want to be seen by anyone), they felt rather weird. Ron was trying to stretch his skirt down as far as it could go without revealing himself and Harry was trying to fix his wig. "How can they stand to wear this?" Ron was complaining. "It's freezing cold right now!" He shuddered to make his point. "And these shoes are so uncomfortable," he added as an afterthought.

Harry was still fixing his brunette wig. "Is this okay?" he asked, turning to Ron so he could see.

Ron adjusted it. "That's better, I think. Imagine having to wear this everyday. I'd prefer Snape teaching all of our classes."

Harry shrugged. "I think Snape is worse. Hermione probably can put some charm on this thing to make it warmer."

Ron was now trying to pull up his socks. "Do you suppose this would make it a bit warmer?" he asked of Harry.

Harry shrugged again. "Most likely," he replied, "it depends if the socks are thick enough."

"Ok then," said Ron as they stopped in front of Professor Flitwick's classroom. He tried to open the door but to no prevail. "He's not in there," he concluded to Harry.

"We'll just wait then," said Harry and they leaned against the wall. "What do you think Snape is wearing?"

Ron looked up at the ceiling, trying to imagine what his Potions teacher would wear. "Something green?"

Harry grinned. "Make up?"

Ron grinned back. "Most likely. We haven't got him until Thursday, though, so I guess we'll find out then," he said as a Ravenclaw girl walked past. The Ravenclaw girl stared at Harry and Ron and gave a wink. Ron waved back as an acknowledgment. She smiled brightly at him before walking away. Ron primped his hair up, pretending to be a model. "If we look cute enough," he said haughtily, "Madam Rosmerta may give us free Butterbeers."

Harry laughed. "We'll try it this weekend."

Just then, the bell rang and Harry and Ron began hearing the chatters of the students and saw their dim figures approaching. The door suddenly swung open. Ron, who was the nearest to the door, poke his head in. "Don't see anyone," he reported. He began to walk inside and Harry followed. They took their seats at the middle of the room. A rustling of noise could be heard in the front. "Professor?" asked Ron expectantly.

A shuffling of books being put on top of each other reached the friends' ears and then Professor Flitwick's head appeared. The person they saw did not look at all like Professor Flitwick, however. His hair – or what he had, anyways – was tied into tiny little pigtails and he was wearing a Sunday dress that reached his knee. It was his dress that frightened Harry and Ron most of all.

It was bright yellow and had uneven patterns of daisies on it, and looked a _bit_ too girly for their eyes. On Professor Flitwick's face was also a large amount of make up. It made him look creepy. He rather reminded Harry of a clown he had saw Dudley took a picture with. "Good morning," said Professor Flitwick brightly. He noticed their clothes. "Ah, good job, boys. I wouldn't want to take points away from Gryffindor." Then he added in an undertone, "We wouldn't want Slytherin to have a chance at the House Cup, would we?" He winked at them.

The rest of the class ushered in. Hermione was in the middle and noticed Harry and Ron right away. The uniform she was wearing was a size too big for her, but she seemed contented. "Wow, look at you two," she said as she placed her knapsack on the floor and took a seat next to them.

Ron glared at her. "Are you rubbing it in?" he demanded.

Hermione shook her head innocently. "I can't believe Dumbledore didn't mention this idea before. I would love being able to wear pants everyday."

Ron gave her an evil eye and turned his attention to the front.

-

By the middle of the week, mostly everyone had already adjusted to their new routine. The male teachers and students were less grumpy and the Slytherins had cease in spamming the Headmaster with complaints. Most of the Seventh Year Gryffindors could hardly wait for Thursday to come - this was the day they get their payback for all the years of suffering they had received from their Potions master. They heard from students who had the class already that Snape was "sick" and had not shown up for class at all. They also heard another rumor, however, that Dumbledore had forced Snape to attend class at least once that week or else points would be taken off his house for his absence. If this rumor was true, they knew Snape would show up that day or the next; the penalty for no participation was 150 points. At first, everyone had thought Dumbledore was kidding, but when an unfortunate Slytherin boy was caught, they knew better than to ever think against what Dumbledore had to say.

That Thursday morning, Ron and Harry headed off to the dungeon as soon as they got out of the Common Room. They had not expected it, but there were a couple of students there as well. Some they recognized were Seamus, Dean, Ernie, Hannah, and Justin. Hannah was correcting Ernie's tie and Seamus and Justin were doing the same thing Ron did a couple days ago. "It won't go down any more," protested Justin angrily.

Hannah looked at Justin's skirt before going back to fixing Ernie's tie. "Stretching it won't do any good," she advised, "unless you want everyone to see you flash."

Justin's cheeks turned slightly pink.

"You don't have this class today," stated Ron as he and Harry neared them.

Dean grinned at him. "We passed them when we were walking to the Great Hall and they told us they heard two Slytherin girls saying Snape was going to show up today. They wanted to see too, so we came here."

"We have classes near here today, anyways," added Ernie.

"Oh," said Harry. The bell rang, signaling the start of classes. The dungeon's door flung open, but like with Professor Flitwick, they couldn't see anyone inside.

"I think Snape is a bit too tall to be hiding behind books," said Ron. Harry nodded in agreement.

Students began filling in and so Harry, Ron, Dean and Seamus did the same. "Tell us what he looks like," said Ernie before he went on his way. Seamus nodded. They took seats in the front of the room this time in order to fully see their Professor. When the warning bell had rung, he still didn't show up. "Do you think he's showing up today?" several students whispered to each other. The closet door suddenly slammed open and out came their Potions master in all his glory.

He was wearing a very tight sleeved dress that came to his knee. It was neon pink and had a plastic kind of look to it. On his head was a blonde wig that was tied into two perfect pigtails. He was also wearing pink lipstick and blue eye shadow. In overall, he looked very fake. As soon as he got to his table, he slammed his giant textbook onto the desk and barked, "Turn to page 165!"

The students quickly followed his order. Snape strode to the front board and began writing the words 'Forbidden Potions' on it. "As requested by Professor Dumbledore, we will be discussing the three forbidden potions not allowed at Hogwarts today," he said, his voice calmer. "Name them or ten points off Gryffindor – no, not you Miss Granger. You are not allowed to answer anything today."

Hermione went somewhat pink and stared at her desk. Some student began to worry; if Snape continued his behavior throughout the whole class, they'd be lucky to make it out with any points left. Neville raised a shaking hand. "Love Potion?" he said uncertainly.

"I did not call on you," said Snape, "five points off Gryffindor."

Harry could almost hear the clanging of five rubies going up the Gryffindor's hourglass. He looked at Ron and they exchanged dark looks. "Here we go again," whispered Harry.

"Is there something you would like to share with the class, Potter?" asked Snape. Harry faced the front and found Snape right in front of his desk. Harry shook his head. "It seems you had such an animated conversation with Weasley here. Oh! Of course. You must be talking about the other two. Name them. Now."

Harry looked over at Hermione nervously. "Ehh…Sleeping Draught?" he said slowly.

"Wrong, Potter," said Snape, "Ten points off Gryffindor for lack of attention."

Snape turned around and walked back to his desk. Harry stared at his retreating back angrily. "The three Potions not allowed at Hogwarts are Love, Sleeping Draught _of Death, _and Partial-Immortality or in other words, a potion containing unicorn blood. Love Potion is not illegal in the wizarding world, but the reason for its banning here is because of a troublemaker." He glanced at Harry and Ron with piercing eyes before continuing. "This particular troublemaker had fallen in love with a certain girl who just happened to think he was the biggest loser on this planet. Fifteen points from Gryffindor for giggling, Miss Patil. As I was saying, the troublemaker decided to brew a Love Potion, but to add with his loser-ness, he was extremely bad at Potions as well.

"The product went terribly wrong and the result was the girl squawking every time she talked. She was cured of course, but the Headmistress at that time thought the troublemaker was an insufferable git and expelled him from Hogwarts. Thus concludes our story time. Moving on, the Love Potion consists of one frozen Ashwinder egg, half a cauldron of water, a rose petal, five newt eyeballs, an extract of purple dye to make the drink less obvious, and a piece of uncontaminated pure silk. It is not extremely hard to make, but one wrong move and something can go horribly wrong. I must also mention that Love Potions are not only used for making someone fall in love with you. It can also be used to make _you_ fall in love with _someone_."

Harry could felt the wheel turning in his head. Love Potion.

It was the perfect idea.

-

That night, Harry sat down with his roommates and discussed what he had in his head. "I think we should make a Hogwarts girl drink a Love Potion and see what happens," he said. His friends stared at him.

"Harry, are you out of your mind?" asked Neville. "You heard what Snape said. The person we feed it to could have chicken wings growing out of their head or something!"

"Yea, I think that's a bit too dangerous, mate," said Ron.

"I think it's ingenious," said Seamus. "What do you think, Dean?"

Dean shrugged. "I don't really care as long as the girl isn't from Gryffindor."

"Ok then," said Harry, clapping his hands together. "It's on then."

"How are we supposed to get the instructions?" asked Neville. "The recipe is in the Restricted Section."

"I'll take care of that," said Harry.

"Ingredients?"

"They're pretty easy to get," said Ron. "Ashwinder eggs and newt eyeballs are normal Potion supply. I'm out of Ashwinder eggs already. Do you still have some, Harry?" Harry nodded. "Ok then. I can write home and ask Mum to send some purple dye. Where are we going to find the pure silk, though?"

Harry thought for a moment. "I think a few curtains at Sirius's house are made out of silk. I'll ask Lupin." He laughed. "I suddenly just remembered what Lupin said about the Marauders wanting to lure us."

Ron grinned. "I think Sirius would be proud of this," he said.

"Marauders?" asked Neville. The other Gryffindor boys stared at Harry and Ron for an answer.

Harry shrugged. "It's a name my dad, Sirius, Lupin, and Pettigrew dubbed themselves as during their stay at Hogwarts."

"Oh," said Dean. There was a moment of silence before he said, "Did you see how funny Snape looked today?"

His friends immediately roared with laughter.

"He reminded me of this Barbie the neighborhood girl had," said Harry.

"His pigtails resembled my cousin Mildred's," said Neville.

"His make-up was hideous!" exclaimed Ron between laughter.

"It was so hard trying not to laugh throughout class," commented Dean. "Say, do you suppose he borrowed all that stuff from Umbridge?"

This triggered a long discussion of where the Potions Professor got his outfit and beauty supply.

-

It was Saturday night when the friends started brewing the potion. Their needed stock was received the day before, but they didn't want to bring suspicion by doing it in broad daylight. After careful planning, they decided to do it in their dorms for it was the "safest" spot and nobody would check in on them. Setting everything up was rather hard for their cauldron was located in the classroom, but they managed to borrow Hermione's spare ("Just in case the other one leaks," she had said when they asked her why she had one) without her asking too many questions. Because of obvious reasons, Neville was in charge of reading to them what they should do. Ron was responsible for adding the ingredient for he was the most precise. Dean was to keep guard, Seamus to stir and help Ron, and Harry to supervise.

"Place the cauldron above medium fire," read Neville. Seamus followed the instructions and did so. "Then slowly fill half of it with water. No, Ron, _slowly_. What you're doing is too fast. Okay, now we wait for five minutes. Oh! While you're at it, unfreeze the Ashwinder egg and mince it in fourths."

Ron gave Neville a suspicious look. "Are you sure what you're reading is right?" he asked, grabbing the instructions to look at it himself. After skimming through, he gave it back to Neville. "Then why didn't they ask for _regular_ Ashwinder eggs? What's the point of using _frozen_ Ashwinder eggs if you have to _unfreeze_ them?"

"Just follow what it says, Ron," said Harry.

Ron rolled his eyes and began doing his work. "Stir the water, Seamus," he said. Seamus did as he was told.

"Are we trying to get the person to fall in love with one of us?" asked Neville.

Harry shook his head. "No. We're making them fall in love with the first person they see. Why?"

"Oh, ok then. Because it says here that in order to make someone fall in love with you, you must add a piece of your skin."

Seamus raised an eyebrow in disgust. "Let's lay off the body parts, please," he said.

"Talking about body parts, why aren't you wearing your nightgown, Dean?" asked Ron.

Dean, who stood at the door, crossed his arms. "Nightgowns are not manly," he said simply.

"Well, manly or not, you better go change into yours before Head Girl Hermione catches you," said Seamus, snickering.

Ron threw him a look. "Leave Hermione out of this."

"Did I hear my name?" asked a voice from outside.

The boys all looked at each other in panic. "Oh, no," said Dean as coolly as he could in a high-pitched voice. "We were just saying that – that…that Ron was hitting Harry's knee!"

Ron and Harry stared at him with gaping mouths and stepped away from each other.

Hermione could be heard disgusted also. "Tell Ron to behave," she said. "or else I won't keep going easy on him." Then her footsteps faded away.

"Go easy, eh?" asked Dean, smirking as he headed to his trunk to pull on his nightdress.

Ron's ears turned pink. "Shut up," he said.

"Five minutes is up," announced Harry.

"Add a piece of the eggs, Ron," said Neville. "Wait for the smoke to reach two inches. Oh God, that smell is terrible. Cut the silk in thirds, Ron."

**Several hours later…**

"And lastly," said Neville, "add the rose petal." The potion gave a hiss and smoke engulfed the room for a split second before disappearing altogether. "Can I sleep now?" he asked sleepily.

"Not yet," said Seamus. "How do we find out if this potion is safe?"

Harry thought for a moment. "You drink it, Dean. That's your dare."

Dean glared at Harry. "Is that your evil girl side talking, Harry? If it is then I am sure glad Dumbledore didn't do this every year."

"All you have to do is drink it, Dean," said Harry. "Squawking is better than kissing the Giant Squid, right?"

Dean considered that thought. "I suppose…," he said slowly.

"That's the way to look at it," said Harry, "Just a sip is all we ask."

"Don't worry," said Neville, yawning, "the book says harmless after-effects are usually gone within twelve hours."

"The keyword is 'harmless', Neville."

"Just try it," said Ron, "so we can get to sleep. I am so worn out from all of this. Do it before Harry comes up with another wacky idea."

Dean sighed. "All right then," he said miserably, "just remind me never to play cards again."

Harry filled the potion into a small vile and handed it to Dean. "Just a sip," he said.

Dean accepted it from him, but 'accidentally' dropped it onto the floor. "Oops," he said.

"No problem," said Harry casually. "We have more where that came from." He pointed to the nearly full cauldron.

Dean groaned and downed the next one Harry gave him. He smacked his lips. "I never thought newt eyeballs and smelly eggs would be this good," he said.

"Well, we know that he won't be squawking now," said Neville.

"Oh wait! Don't stare at us or you fall in love or something!" exclaimed Ron, running to his bed and pulling the covers over his head.

"I don't really think it worked," said Dean. "I don't feel different or anything. Just feels normal."

"Did we skip something?" asked Seamus, flipping through the book in search of the potion's instructions.

"Maybe we did something wrong?" asked Ron.

Harry was examining the last piece of silk. "I think I see a little stain on here," he said.

His friends groaned. "All that work for nothing," complained Ron.

Dean shrugged. "Oh well. Something good came out of it – I don't have to worry about what you guys are going to make me do anymore." He headed to his bed. "Let's go to sleep now," he said. "I'm tired like hell."

"Clean up first," said Seamus, pointing to the cauldron. The other boys stared at it and then each other.

"Dump it out the window," they agreed in unison.

-

Around midnight, Dean felt a queasy feeling in his stomach. His mouth began to get rather dry and he began to sweat. _Summer heat_, he decided as he climbed out of bed. _I need some water. _He headed to the pitcher of water that was usually placed near the door, but found it empty. He stared at the sleeping frames of his friends. _Lazy bums,_ he said to himself, shaking his head. _The whole lot of them._

Dean grabbed the pitcher and proceeded to go to the kitchen. The house elves were very nice and welcoming to him when he got there and along with a full pitcher of water, he received a bag of delicious chocolate truffles. As he turned the corner to walk to the stairs, however, he spotted Snape patrolling the area. He quickly tried to hide behind the nearest statue, but it was too late for Snape already saw him.

"Get back to your dorms, Thomas!" he shouted. "I don't have time to deal with you Gryffindor lot right now."

Something was going terribly wrong with Dean's system. When he looked at Snape, _bubbles_ floated around. He also started having a uneasy feeling in his stomach and something in the back of his mind urged him to go and snog Snape senseless. _What the hell_? Wondered Dean as his legs began moving on their own accord. He tried to grab onto something but his hands were not listening to him either.

"What are you doing now, Thomas?" asked Snape impatiently. "Get back to your dorms!"

"I'm trying to!" he shouted back. "Something weird is going on!" Right after those words, his legs began running fast at Snape.

Snape's mind suddenly formed one word: _Run._ And so he started sprinting down the corridors with Dean hot on his tail. "Get back to your dorms now, Thomas, or fifty points off Gryffindor!"

"I'm trying!" exclaimed Dean.

Snape was now hitching up his nightdress so he could run faster. Dean's arms did the same. He was closing distance on Snape fast and in one swift move, tackled him to the ground. "Oh my God!" screamed Dean as he tried to keep his head away from Snape.

Snape was trying to grab Dean's flinging arms. He suddenly had the sense to grab his wand, however, and shouted, "_Stupefy_!" Dean fell back and lay motionless on the ground. "What the hell is going on with the students?" he asked, picking Dean up and carrying him towards the Hospital Wing. He glanced at his nightdress. "There must be something wrong with women's clothing," he decided.

-

The next morning, after minutes of persuasion, Dean was let go by Madam Pomfrey. He made his way back to Gryffindor Common Room to change into his "school uniform". When he got there, however, he found the room full of students and in front of them all was an angry looking Professor McGonagall.

"Sit down, Thomas," she ordered and Dean took a seat. The students quieted down and she began. "Something very _bizarre_ happened last night in this very castle - a teacher was chased around by a seemingly enchanted student. This student was brought to the Hospital Wing and after close inspection by Madam Pomfrey, we found that he had consumed a small portion of a Love Potion. Because the potion was done wrong, it had little effect and he only had the sensation to chase around men in nightdresses. I am sure you all know that Love Potions are _forbidden_ at Hogwarts," she looked at Dean with sharp eyes, "and one more display of such a thing and we will start expelling students. This is not a warning. We will _not_ go easy on the next person who breaks the rules." With that said, she made her way out the portrait.

The students began to murmur among themselves after her departure. Harry, Seamus, Ron, and Neville found their way over to him. But before any of them could speak, Hermione came by. "So that's what the cauldron was for, huh?" she accused, her eyebrows narrowed.

They shook their heads innocently. "We've no idea what you're talking about," said Ron. Hermione closed her eyes for a second then dragged Ron, _by his ears_, up the stairs.

"I don't think I like his fate," said Neville, looking at the two. Several students were looking at Ron and Hermione as well.

"So was it you?" asked Seamus, grinning. "Or was it someone else who oh so happened to be doing the same thing as us?"

Dean glared at him. "You did it on purpose!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry, mate," said Harry. "We never thought anything like that would happen."

Dean scoffed. "Oh, sure."

"So are you up for another round of thirteen?"

Dean threw a pillow at Harry. "Shut up."

-


End file.
